


I Open My Heart And It's All For You

by richietoaster



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 04:12:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13628376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richietoaster/pseuds/richietoaster
Summary: Eddie has never been in love before. He has loved people and objects and things, but it has never been in the same way. He loves his mom. He loves all of his friends; Bill, Stan, Mike, Bev, Ben, and Richie. Richie. Yet when he thinks of the last one, it’s almost like it is different. Maybe because it is.





	I Open My Heart And It's All For You

**Author's Note:**

> have some fluff :)

Eddie has never been in love before. He has loved people and objects and things, but it has never been in the same way. He loves his mom. He loves all of his friends; Bill, Stan, Mike, Bev, Ben, and Richie. Richie. Yet when he thinks of the last one, it’s almost like it  _ is  _ different. Maybe because it is.

It’s almost like an embarrassment; Eddie’s never even been with someone. He’s never had intimacy. No kissing, never been on a date, never had fallen into someone. He’s sixteen-- he supposes he has forever. But he doesn’t want to wait that long. Eddie doesn’t think it’s all that fair that his friends didn’t have to wait long.

Eddie had been invited to his first party. He wants to go. He’s told his mother about it and she nearly had a heart attack and yelled at Eddie about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, especially for underage teens. He likes to think he’s smart- he wouldn’t do anything to put himself in harm. Even if he does drink a little, it’d be a reasonable amount, of course.

Stan picks him up. Richie had offered, but he’d only gotten his license that week and Eddie doesn’t exactly trust him driving. They sit in the car in silence, even as they pull up to Greta’s house.

“Why’d you come, Eddie?” Stan breaks the silence, asking quietly.

“I wanted to. She invited me,” Eddie shrugs. And maybe he shouldn’t have. Greta wasn’t the best person toward him in the sixth grade, but maybe she’s changed?

“She’s invited our entire class.” 

“Should I not have come?” Eddie makes a face at his friend, “You don’t want me here?”

“No,” Stan shakes his head, “We all know how Greta is. She’s a bitch, she treated you like shit for years and suddenly you’re at her seventeenth birthday party.”

“I just wanted to do something new, okay? Take my mind off of some things.”

“Can’t think straight?” Stan sympathizes.

Eddie lets out a laugh, “You have no idea.”

 

They go into the house after that. Stan leaves Eddie off to wander by himself and in that moment he thinks maybe he really doesn’t have any friends. He quickly shakes it off because he knows that’s not true but he knows they’re all here- he knows they’re all having fun while he’s alone. Maybe Stan was right- he shouldn’t have come, he has no place here, really. 

Eddie turns around to leave but he’s pushed away from the door by Greta, herself. 

“Leaving so soon? Is it because you can’t find your boyfriend?”

A look of discomfort, Eddie knows, spreads across his face, “My boyfriend? I-I don’t- I’m not gay, Greta.”

“Sure,” she raises her eyebrows once and goes to walk past him, but turning around to tell him, “he’s in the game room.”

Curiosity gets the best of him and he’s turning corner after corner and pushing past drunk teenagers to find this room where his ‘boyfriend’ is. 

When he peers into the room, he sees Richie. Richie and a bunch of other people he doesn’t know. He’s playing pool with a few guys, the rest of the room just watching. There’s red solo cups in nearly all of their hands and it feels like a cliche house party. Maybe it is. Richie’s got one, too. It sits next to his feet, and Eddie watches him pocket a few stripe balls before bending over to pick it up. When he leans down, Eddie knows he’s been seen.

“Hey! Spaghetti! You’re here.”

_ Boyfriend. This is not his boyfriend. He’s not gay. _

Eddie suddenly wants to go home more than ever. This is not his scene, not his place, and he just doesn’t belong. He feels tears prick his eyes and he’s opening his mouth to speak but nothing comes out; he feels embarrassed.

“Hey,” Richie turns around to address his opponents, “Find someone to play for me,” and he doesn’t even give them a reason but Eddie knows they’re all whispering about him, it having to do with him.

Richie pulls him out to the hallway where it’s a little bit quieter, “What’re you doing here?”

“The question of the night, right? Everyone wants to know why I’ve come. Why I’m here. Just.. why, why, why,” Eddie looks down at his feet and sniffles, a tear sliding down his cheek.

“Hey, hey.. Look at me,” Richie touches his arm and shoots him a worried glance, “I’m happy you’re here. I’m glad you’ve come.”

Eddie’s heart flutters and he understands why Greta called Richie his boyfriend. They’re not dating, but maybe he wouldn’t actually mind it. Maybe this kind of love for Richie is in fact, different. “Really? That makes one of us..”

“You don’t want to be here?” Richie asks.

Eddie nods and wipes away the tears on his face, “No. I feel so stupid. So fucking stupid.”

“Why?”

“I shouldn’t have come and everyone knows it.”

Richie doesn’t miss a beat when he pulls his friend into a hug, whispering into his hair, “Then I’ll take you home.”

“I really don’t think I want to be in a car with you,” Eddie jokes, slowly cracking a smile.

“There he is,” Richie grins, “I promise I’m a good driver. Trust me, okay?”

Eddie does. He trusts him with his entire life, “Okay.”

 

* * *

 

When Richie pulls up to Eddie’s house, they both sit there, unmoving.

“Are you going to come up?” Eddie motions toward his window.

“If you want me to, but I have to park the car down the block so your mom doesn’t see,” Richie says, “You gotta get out first, Eds.”

“I know. Just let me sit here for a moment.”

Richie unbuckles his seatbelt to turn and face Eddie, “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“What’s wrong? Something happened at that party, didn’t it?”

“No,” Eddie repeats, shaking his head. “Not really.. I just.. I’m..” He closes his eyes again before the tears can spill, “Have you felt like.. Like one thing is bothering you and it just fucks up your entire mood?”

“Yes, it’s relatable,” Richie watches Eddie face him, “What’s bothering you?”

Eddie doesn’t know how to respond, exactly. What’s bothering him is  _ Richie.  _ But it’s not like that and he can’t say that. What’s bothering him is that he’s coming to terms with his sexuality alone. What’s bothering him is that he thinks that he really is in love. No, he knows. He knows that he’s not only in love, but it’s with his best friend. He hasn’t told anybody, never mentioned it to any of his friends. Eddie thinks that’s his first mistake.

He thinks his second mistake is letting himself stare at Richie for more than a second. Eddie knows this because it causes him to make his third one, and he’s leaning across the consol between him and Richie to press a kiss to his lips. He lingers no longer than a second before he’s pulling away flushed, embarrassed, and he really needs to get out of this vehicle.

Before Eddie can turn to yank at the handle, Richie’s got a grip on his wrist and pulls him back in for a much deeper kiss, this time with open mouths. He gasps slightly when Richie licks at his bottom lip and he can feel Richie’s hesitation at the sound, but he’s wrapping his arms around his neck, pulling him closer and closer.

“I can’t get much closer, Eds.. We’ve got this consol between us,” Richie speaks against his lips. 

Eddie thinks it’s then when he realizes that he wants no space between them. He wants Richie all over him. Sex crosses his mind, but he doesn’t want that- not now, not yet. He just wants the feel of Richie’s lips pressed back onto his. 

Richie gives Eddie a look when he climbs into the backseat, pulling him along by the shirt. The look is no longer when the smaller boy is between his legs, dragging him back down so he can be kissed once more. He’s got a hand on Eddie’s cheek, the other on his waist, and Eddie’s arms around his neck. 

They’re lazily kissing at this point, getting to know the other’s mouth with their own. Eddie thinks maybe his mistake isn’t a mistake after all-- the best decision he could have possibly made in that moment.

“Is this what was bothering you? You couldn’t bare to keep your hands off of me anymore?” Richie smirks against Eddie’s lips.

“Sure, something like that,” Eddie laughs and gives a short and chaste kiss to Richie before continuing, “I’ve been coming to terms with myself. Me. I’m gay, Richie.”

“I know, bug,” Richie thumbs at Eddie’s jawline, “I saw it eating away at you.”

“How did you know?”

“Because I went through the same thing last year.” Richie kisses Eddie’s cheek, his nose, his mouth, “I had this internal battle with myself. I didn’t tell anybody. And that’s how I knew, because you reacted the same way as I did. But you don’t have to worry.”

“Worry about what?”

 

Eddie doesn’t have to say it because Richie’s known all along. 

 

“I’m in love with you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are greatly appreciated
> 
> richietoaster.tumblr.com


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